MESSAGE BOARD Do you have special techniques you use when making a complaint? Is there a secret to being heard? Share your thoughts.

By Jamie Allen
CNN Interactive Senior Writer

(CNN) -- "The airline situation is so bad these days," says travel expert Wendy Perrin. "Delays are up, cancellations are up, overbookings are up, planes are tiny, they're making us check carry-on bags, they're losing more luggage. People are incredibly frustrated."

People are complaining, too. In fact, the art of complaining about travel snafus like lost luggage or missed connections has gotten downright competitive, particularly during the heavy-traffic holiday season. And unless you're competent at communicating the problem, you run the risk of not being heard at all.

We asked Perrin and Diana Fairechild to tell us secrets to getting what you want from an overburdened travel industry, how to stand out from the whining crowd. Perrin is the author of "Secrets Every Smart Traveler Should Know" (Fodor, 1997, paperback, $15) and Fairechild is a former flight attendant who wrote "Jet Smarter: The Air Traveler's Rx" (Flyana, 1999, paperback, $14.95).

They're in agreement on how to get a point across to the frazzled car rental clerk, the frustrated flight attendant or the seen-it-all gate agent. The bottom line: Be nice, be concise and mean business.

"I would be polite" when making a complaint, says Perrin. "I wouldn't yell; you want to be nice."

Perrin breaks down a complaint into three parts.

"I think it's very important to see it as a negotiation," she says, "to explain concisely and clearly what happened. 'You promised me X, you gave me Y, therefore I deserve Z. This is what's going to make me happy.'

"In other words, tell them what the problem is, tell them how they messed up, explain why it's their fault rather than yours, and then propose a solution. Tell them what's going to make you happy."

They'll probably make you an offer. If it's not enough, Perrin says the best way to hold your ground is by uttering two words.

"If they come to you with something, and you're not happy, I would simply say, 'That's unacceptable,'" she says. "I find that's a good thing to say. 'That's unacceptable.' Sounds good, doesn't it? It works, at least for me."

Of course, it's important to negotiate with the person who can help the most -- don't bicker with a flight attendant over lost luggage, or tell a gate agent he owes you a rental car for losing your flight information.

Fairechild says she likes to soften up the person being complained to before launching her gripe. Smile at them, she says, and more.

"Start with a compliment," Fairechild says. "Then say, 'I know you're extremely busy ... .'"

Fairechild says that when flying you can take preventive measures. In other words, it pays to soften up the flight attendants. Take time to ask them how their day is going, tell them a joke or hand them a pen from your company.

"Flight attendants can always use a pen," she says.

Later, when you can't stand the noisy passenger next to you, they'll want to help.

"Flight attendants are people who like people -- that's how they got that job in the first place," says Fairechild.

Of course, the last thing you should do when complaining is think you'll get your way by yelling the loudest. Remember in the film "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" when Steve Martin's character finally lost it with the rental-car gal?

That will get you nowhere in real life.

Perrin tells the story of a friend who missed his flight by seconds, and took it out on the gate agent. He ranted and raved, but the plane never came back.

"So he sat around the gate, huffing and puffing," says Perrin. "Then he walked up to the gate agent and said, 'I'm really sorry, that was uncalled for.' Well, this was the first time in 25 years of being gate agent that this guy had been apologized to, and he was so thrilled that he moved my friend up to first class" on the next flight.

The bottom line: If you fly often, or during the holidays, you'll probably find reason to complain, and you have every right to do just that.

"If somebody made a promise to me and didn't deliver it, and I have that promise in writing, you can bet I'm going to complain," says Perrin. "And usually there's a fair resolution that they'll come to."