Interview anxiety

Avoid the freeze-up that could cost you the job

June 20, 2000
Web posted at: 12:27 p.m. EDT (1627 GMT)

By Carole Martin

from

(womenconnect.com) -- A lot of people complain about interview anxiety. They don't have a problem when they talk with people in casual conversation, but they freeze in the interview setting.

The word "interview" is enough to send many people into high anxiety. One way to lower that anxiety is to change the way you think about the interview. There's a large part of it that will be out of your control, but there are some things you can control, and one of those things is your thinking process.

Dr. David Burns in his book "The Feeling Good Handbook" says, "I want you to learn to accept and love yourself as a flawed and imperfect human. I want you to accept and
love your strengths as well as your weaknesses without a sense of shame or embarrassment." By accepting yourself for better or for worse, Burns says, you'll experience a new outlook on almost everything, including interviewing.

Nerves are normal

Let's begin with the idea of trying to convince yourself you shouldn't be nervous about interviewing. It's perfectly normal to get nervous. Let me repeat that, it's perfectly normal to get nervous. There you are presenting yourself, putting yourself on the line and this person has the power to reject you without explanation.

You do have some power over the process if you begin to think of it as an opportunity to check out a company or job, to see what they have to offer. It's a little like going on a date. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't -- it just isn't there.

It's very unrealistic to tell yourself you should be different from the way you really are. It just makes you feel worse about yourself.

It would be nice if your heart didn't palpitate and your hands didn't sweat and your mouth didn't go dry. But most people, even vice presidents, experience one or more of these symptoms when they interview. It's OK to be nervous. This shift to self-acceptance will help you feel more in control and more confident almost immediately.

Work in process

Next, let's work on the idea that the interview is a process -- nothing more. In fact, it's a conversation with a purpose. It should be a two-way process, personal and friendly. Not all interviews will be personal and friendly, and a lot of the process will be out of your control, but begin to look at the process as interactive instead of one-way.

You are allowed to ask questions, and the more you listen to what's being asked, the more discerning you will become about whether this is a good place for you. Would you ever get into a relationship with anyone without asking a few questions about whether there's a match or not: "Do you like Italian food?" The same thing applies to interviews: "How would you describe your company's treatment of its employees?"

Instead of focusing on the end result, relax and learn from the process. When all you can think of is whether this interview will end in a job offer, you miss out on the process. If you begin to think of the interview process as a conversation and relax, you'll find out some interesting things about the interviewers and the companies you talk with. You'll also realize that this may not be the place for you, after all. You begin to take control of the outcome.

Here are two practical tips to help ease the tension ahead of the interview: