Or my name isn't ...

October 26, 2000
Web posted at: 5:56 p.m. EDT (2156 GMT)

With Ann Humphries, ETICON

(CNN) -- You know how it goes.

"I'm John Galt, good to meet you."

"Great to meet you, too, uh ... ."

See that? You've forgotten Mr. Galt's name just seconds after he said it to you.

Even worse, you run into him at the next regional managers' meeting and -- having just heard somebody talking about him -- you find yourself asking him, "Who is John Galt?"

What a moment when he tells you, "I am."

Or maybe you've seen an associate at four company receptions and still can't remember that name. Perhaps she's the employee you run into every single morning on the elevator but she never has her ID turned the right way so you can read it.

"Elevator Lady" really won't cut it, will it? Well, of course it won't.

In fact, why does it always seem that everyone knows your name but you have the devil of a time remembering theirs?

CNN: We asked ... gosh, what's her name? Oh, that's right, Ann. Ann Humphries. Know her anywhere. Founder and president of ETICON. We asked Humphries what to do about this name thing. If you're having trouble remembering names in business, how can you get better at it? And is it that important, anyway?

Ann Humphries: To begin with, yes, it really is that important. People like you to know their names. Even if you don't know them, they want to know you work at it. Cultivate that reputation as a person who tries to know names. Make sure they can say you really work at getting to know them. You hear it mentioned all the time as an affirmation of people's quality.

So let's say you're choosing a deliberate business strategy to start working on it.

First, stop saying, "I'm bad with names." That's self-fulfilling. Instead say, "I'm good with names." Then take the preventive approach.

QUICK VOTE
	How much trouble do you have remembering names in your work? A lot. Sometimes I think I'm going to forget my own mother's name. Hm. Wait a minute, it'll come to me ... I have good days and bad days. And some people's names stick, some don't. Weird. Not a problem for me. I'm great with the names. It's the faces I can't recall. View Results

Say you have a meeting coming up. Anticipate who'll be there. Who's in the department involved? Make notes. If people there give you their business cards, read the cards back to them. Ask for the correct pronunciations of their names. Let them see you learning that. Voice it back to them.

You don't have to do this while they're standing there, but at some point turn the cards over and jot down "red hair, has two kids, wore green shirt Tuesday." Keep those cards spread on the table before you -- let them see you working at keeping track of who they are. During the meeting, use a legal pad and draw the table. Note who sat where.

Then when the next meeting is coming up, do your homework. Strategically take a few seconds before the next meeting and review who does what. Use the notes on the business cards you saved. Use the map of the table you drew. Use devices to remember names, if you can. I know a man who'll tell you his name is Pettijohn -- "like a small bathroom." Think of something like this you can offer people you meet to help them remember your name.

This background work will pay off in other settings. When you go to a reception with these same people, you're entering a room of people you know, people you've already met. Wear your name tag under your collar bone, not in a position that makes people embarrassed to look at it. If your company ID hangs between your breasts or is hooked to the front of your belt, your co-workers may not feel comfortable reading it.

Now, if all your homework hasn't paid off and you still can't remember a name, the best thing is usually just to say so. Don't joke about it saying, "I'm sorry, I have Alzheimer's" -- someone in their family may be dealing with that illness. Not funny. You can say, "I know who you are. I'm so-and-so, please tell me your name."

Another option is to stall for time. When you first arrive at an event, you can get someone there whose name you do know and scope out the room together. Two heads may be better than one on figuring out who's there. If you stumble onto someone whose name you can't recall, smile and nod, act friendly and lean forward -- don't withdraw. If the name doesn't come to you right away, try for something that does: "I saw you last year, how are you?"

CLASSIER CORPORATES
	A little thing happens at the office, or maybe a small event goes down in the parking lot -- what would a "Corporate Class" specialist do? You've come to the right place. Use our handy submission form and we'll see about addressing your issue here.

Or try using a colleague you know to prompt someone's self-introduction. "This is so-and-so, I don't know if you two have met." The unknown person will then introduce himself or herself to your colleague.

And when it comes to forgetting a name as soon as someone says it to you, you've got to concentrate. Be sure you hear it when they say it. Otherwise, you seem inauthentic. Say it right back to them when they tell you. Then use it again, quickly.

Best of all, close with a customized end to the conversation if you can. "Thank you, John, good to have met you."

Say their name. It means a lot if you can close with the name.

We can close with hers: Ann Humphries, founder and president of ETICON, Inc. and a Certified Professional Consultant to Management, includes several Fortune 500 companies among her clients. She's been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Fortune and Money, and on CNN, CBS and Lifetime TV. You can contact her at www.eticon.com

ETICON, Inc.

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