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'Tao of Steve' an unconvincing comedy of overweight lover

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By Paul Tatara
CNN.com Reviewer

(CNN) -- "The Tao of Steve" is an immobile romantic comedy that isn't nearly as deep and affecting as its writers want us to believe it is.

This is another one of those movies where sloppy former frat boys spew arcane theories about sex and relationships, then put them into practice. And that's it. If only one or two sequences had been built this way, director Jenniphr Goodman might have been able to delve a little deeper into the psyche of her central protagonist. After all, "what I think I know about women" monologues are a staple of the genre.

But "The Tao of Steve" substitutes a mildly witty riff for what should be a richly textured theme.

Dex (Donal Logue), an overweight, chain-smoking Santa Fe kindergarten teacher, recites his personal philosophies of life and seduction as if they're musings by Confucius. He lives his life according to The Tao of Steve, a code of effortless cool that he feels was the guiding force behind such macho icons as Steve McQueen, Steve McGarret (from "Hawaii Five-0") and Steve Austin ("The Six Million Dollar Man.") Apparently, everything Dex needs to know about the fairer sex, he learned from a lunchbox.

We first meet this unlikely Lothario at a college reunion, where several women admit to having bedded him before he graduated and put on 80 extra pounds.

At the reunion, Dex finds himself drawn to a former classmate named Syd (Greer Goodman, the director's sister), a theatrical set designer who also had a fling with him when they were in school. This isn't like "Marty" (1955), where a lonely, unattractive woman finds her emotional equal in a lonely, unattractive man. Syd is beautiful and smart, but can't get enough of a slob in a bad shirt.

Dex can't recall sleeping with Syd, so the would-be lovebirds are forced to pretend that they dislike each other for 90 minutes. Too bad they can't come up with any intricate thoughts of their own in the process. If Dex's assertion that "doing stuff is overrated" is your idea of a cogent belief system -- or even an amusing one -- then this the movie for you.

The Goodman sisters wrote the screenplay, along with Duncan North, who's credited on-screen as being the inspiration for Dex. It's amazing that two women worked on this script, given that its female characters are primed to fall for such uninspired b.s.

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The "tao" itself is a distressingly childish idea, one that Dex boils down to "be desirous, be excellent, be gone." Apparently, apathy and mildly inventive joshing works every time. The only flaw with Dex's brilliant theory is that he possesses zero charisma, while Steve McQueen oozed it from every pore. Given Dex's physical state and degree of self-satisfaction, "The Tao of Jabba the Hut" would have been a better title.

Dex's monologues reference everyone from Kierkegaard to Josie and the Pussycats, Quentin Tarantino-style. What's supposed to be slacker-profound is very nearly trite, and Logue's lack of gumption makes him seem like a key grip who was forced in front of the camera at the last minute.

Goodman's dry visual style is also a drawback. There's virtually no rhythm or movement to her shots, nothing that gives the images a sense of ongoing life.

This is the kind of movie that Kevin Smith ("Clerks," "Mallrats," "Chasing Amy," "Dogma") would make if he were to suddenly trade in his comic books for a set of encyclopedias. In case you're wondering, that's not a compliment.

"The Tao of Steve" contains some profanity, pot smoking, talk of sex and a little post-intercourse snuggling. It's a would-be gourmet dinner consisting almost entirely of tapioca. Rated R. 100 minutes.

Tao of Steve

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