Quick, drive a stake in it!

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'The Little Vampire' never comes to life

October 27, 2000
Web posted at: 4:52 p.m. EDT (2052 GMT)

In this story: An immortal playmate Undead, unintelligent RELATED STORIES, SITES

By Paul Clinton
CNN.com Reviewer

(CNN) -- For all those parents who complain -- justifiably -- that Hollywood doesn't produce enough films for the younger set, here's good news: New Line Cinema's latest venture, "The Little Vampire," is aimed at kids with all the intensity of an ice-cream truck on a hot day.

Here's bad news, too: If you're expecting Haagen Dazs, prepare for ice milk instead. It's not a horrible film, but it's not a good one, either.

"The Little Vampire" is not well focused and will probably have very limited appeal. This bloodless flick is just in time for Halloween, and it may engage kids under 10; youngsters older than that may only tolerate it -- if the parents are lucky.

Jonathan Lipnicki, looking disturbingly unchanged since his role in "Jerry Maguire" in 1995, plays 9-year-old Tony Thompson. He's just relocated from San Diego, California, to a remote village in Scotland with his parents, Dottie and Bob, played by Pamela Gidley and Tommy Hinkley.

No sooner than Tony sets foot in the country than he begins having vivid dreams about vampires. He becomes the object of ridicule at school, suffering barbs from all directions. Especially cruel are his classmates Nigel and Flint, nephews of Lord McAshton (John Wood), who happens to be Tony's father's employer.

Then one night Tony meets Rudolph. He's also 9 -- has been for 300 years, in fact. Yes, he's a vampire. Hot on Rudolph's bat-winged heels is Rookery, the local vampire hunter, whose mission in life is to wipe all those creatures off the face of the earth.

Here's the hitch, and it's what makes "Little Vampire" a kid's flick: Rudolph and his parents, Frederick (Richard E. Grant) and Freda (Alice Krige); his brother Gregory (Dean Cook); and sister Anna (Anna Popplewell) are all benign vampires. They gave up drinking human blood years ago after deciding it was just too much trouble being hunted down by torch-carrying villagers.

Nope, these guys feast on cow's blood. The cows, of course, occasionally become vampires, just like those hapless humans who find themselves on the wrong end of a vampire's fangs. But no matter: A few beastly bovines wandering around apparently is no cause for alarm.

Call this story Anne Rice light -- very light.

The key to this adventure is a mysterious amulet (isn't it always?) that will make the vampires human again if they can hold it up to the night sky as a comet passes by the moon. That event happens only every 300 years, by the way.

The rest of the film, then, is a mad dash by the vampires and their little pal to grab the amulet before Rookery drives stakes through their hearts, ending this hapless band of bumbling bloodsuckers' reign of error.

Director Uli Edel ("Last Exit to Brooklyn" 1989 and TV shows such as episodes for HBO's "Tales From The Crypt"), utilizes all the production values he has at hand, to great effect. The costumes, set design, special effects and locations (shot in Germany and Scotland), are perfect.

But be forewarned: The rinky-dink musical score gets a bit annoying, and the premise is paper thin. If you have a pre-teen in your house, it may be worth the price of admission.

But don't expect this to become some kind of Halloween classic. By next October it will be in the two-buck video bin at your local store.

"The Little Vampire" opens nationwide on Friday. Rated PG. 94 minutes.

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The Little Vampire

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