Father's Day brings together children of U.S. servicemen killed in Vietnam War

Nottingham, right, pays respects to her father at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial

June 18, 2000
Web posted at: 7:50 p.m. EDT (2350 GMT)

In this story: 'He's being remembered' 'A whole generation' RELATED STORIES, SITES

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Father's Day can be painful for the estimated 20,000 Americans whose fathers were killed as a result of the Vietnam War.

VIDEO CNN's Kate Snow reports on Sons and Daughters in Touch, a group of adult men and women whose fathers were killed in Vietnam Real 28K 80K Windows Media 28K 80K

On Sunday, about 500 of them took a step toward dealing with that pain when they made an emotional pilgrimage to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, a monument etched with the names of more than 58,000 Americans killed or missing during the war.

"Our dads can't be with us, so we are going to be with them here," said Tony Cordero, chairman of Sons and Daughters in Touch, a support group for U.S. children left fatherless by the war. "This is our family tree, and this is our family picnic."

'He's being remembered'

The trip to the memorial wall this year was the first for Rosie Nottingham. Her father, Pvt. Norman Renfro, was killed in the war by a land mine when his daughter was just 2 years old. On Sunday, Nottingham searched and located her father's name on the wall. It had been etched out of reach, too high for her to touch.

"It kind of gives you a little bit of peace knowing that he's there on the wall and he's being remembered," Nottingham said.

Renfro was killed by a land mine when his daughter, Rosie, was 2 years old

"When I was growing up, I never did know anything about my father, and I waited until I was 35 years old to start finding out these things," said Nottingham. "And I thought it would be good to come to a place where other people would understand, and you know, pay respect mostly, just pay respect."

Members of the support group visit the memorial each year on Father's Day weekend, ceremoniously and respectfully washing the black granite facade of the wall where so many memories have been recalled and countless tears have fallen. But for many of the children of fallen fathers, there were tears alone -- no memories at all.

'A whole generation'

"The range goes from those children that were not born -- never saw their father -- all the way up to children who were in their teens or 20's, all the way to late 40's ... a whole generation," Cordero said.

Photographs of the next generation -- grandchildren of the killed or missing fathers -- were left at the base of the wall -- maintaining a tradition that began when the memorial was built in 1982. Father's Day mourners also left mementos of their grief, including written messages and roses.

"The red roses are for love," said Cordero. "The yellow roses are for hope -- hope for those that aren't returned yet, those that are missing in Vietnam, that they someday will be returned."

Correspondent Kate Snow contributed to this report.

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