England football coach, a job not even a donkey wants

England striker Andrew Cole battles in vain against Germany

By Paul Sussman, CNN.com Europe writer

LONDON, England (CNN) -- Like guests at a dinner party politely passing on a dish none of them want to eat, football managers across Europe have one after another been distancing themselves from association with one of the game's great poisoned chalices -- coaching England.

Since Kevin Keegan's shock resignation on October 7, following England's 1-0 defeat by Germany at Wembley, there has been huge speculation about who would succeed him in the managerial hot-seat.

VIDEO Know football? Want a job? Watch this video. Play video (QuickTime, Real or Windows Media)     AUDIO Jim Foulerton of sportal.com on "a possible quick fix" for England 217KB/20 seconds WAV sound

"I was surprised by what Kevin did because he built team spirit and we all wanted him to stay," said pin-up midfielder David Beckham. "But at the end of the day he's made his decision and we all respect that."

Despite a £1 million ($1.46 million) annual salary, however, and the prestige of leading a national sporting team, nobody has as yet declared an interest in taking over from Keegan.

Conversely a lot of people have declared an interest in not taking over. Early names linked to the post, including Leicester manager Peter Taylor, Middlesbrough boss Bryan Robson and Sunderland chief Peter Reid have all announced they are not available.

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger: "Non, merci"

Tabloid newspaper The Sun put forward its own candidate, a donkey named Jack Ass. But his candidature was withdrawn after England's dull 0-0 draw with Finland on Wednesday on the grounds that he would get more satisfaction giving rides to children at the animal sanctuary where he lives.

Suggestions that England should look further afield for a new leader, appointing a manager from the continent, have also been met with a flurry of disinterest.

The two prime candidates, former French coach Aimé Jacquet, and another Frenchman, Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger, have both issued a polite but irrefutable "non".

"It's going to be a very tough finding the right person," says Jim Foulerton, chief football correspondent for sports website Sportal.com. "There are no really outstanding candidates."

A cursory glance at the experiences of recent English managers goes some way to explaining this widespread reluctance to apply for the job.

Graham Taylor (1990 to 1994) was lampooned in the national press as a "turnip-head". His final humiliation came after a video was released showing Taylor struggling with the pressures of the job and reduced to a string of exasperated expletives.

The press also turned on Keegan's predecessor Glenn Hoddle, ridiculing his religious beliefs and reliance on a faith healer.

Finland away, another srappy game

Keegan was labelled the "people's choice" when he took over last year. But more failures on the pitch and the honeymoon was over. He was subjected to vicious abuse from fans as his team slumped to defeat against Germany.

"You have to put up with a lot," says Foulerton. "And that's before you even start the coaching."

Jim White, one of Britain's leading football writers, agrees. "There are so many problems associated with the job. You're battling against the egos of people in the Football Association, the self-interest of the clubs, and a serious skills deficit among our national players.

"Worst of all you've got the over-hyped expectations of a nation that assumes it should be good at football despite all the evidence to the contrary."

Most pundits agree that English football is suffering from an excess of short-termism. "We should be looking ahead and planning in the long term," argues Foulerton. "We need a young coach who can help the team build towards the 2004 European Championships and the 2006 World Cup."

"We need to bring in a whole new group of people," agrees White, "With one person in overall charge."

Precisely who that person will be, however, remains uncertain. Italian Marcello Lippi, the former Juventus manager, has described the job as "interesting", although national pride would seem to preclude the appointment of a non-English coach.

Sir Bobby Charlton, a 1966 World Cup winner, said it would be an "insult" to appoint someone who wasn't English -- sentiments echoed by Beckham.

Now the people's choice is Terry Venables, who has already had one go at the job, leaving in 1996 amid controversy over his contract and his outside business interests.

The Football Association is expected to announce the new manager some time before Christmas.

Keegan resigns after Wembley defeat
October 8, 2000

Sportal.com
English Football Association
England Supporters

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