No sweat

'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff' author Richard Carlson takes his message to teens

(CNN) -- Richard Carlson has made his living -- and his name -- telling people to let the little annoyances of life roll off their backs. His book "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff -- and It's All Small Stuff" has been a bestseller for more than three years. Now he's back with a new book, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Teens," taking his message to a new generation.

Interestingly, he's found teen-agers even more responsive than adults, he told CNN in an interview.

"I've been sitting with a lot of teen-agers lately who love the stuff," he said. "Because teen-agers don't have as many years of bad habits to overcome as we do as adults."

	TRANSCRIPT
Richard Carlson on teen stress

Carlson's books are based around the idea that people are often courageous in handling major crises or tragedies, but let minor irritations get the best of them. Yet it's the small things make up most of people's lives. "So you kind of have to learn how to deal with things," he said. "And when you're a teen, it's a good time to start, because then you can get off to a good start in your life."

Though teen-agers are willing to put Carlson's advice to work, getting them to listen to that advice is something else entirely. Carlson recommended that parents keep a lighthearted perspective and lead by example.

"You know, if you asked teens, they will tell you, I wish my parents would notice me doing things right more often," he said. "But it also works in reverse, (because) when teens can notice their parents doing things right occasionally, it's a very reassuring feeling. ... They realize: My parents can be jerks and they are not perfect. But if you start noticing that they do a lot of things right as well, it's very comforting and reassuring."

Building self-esteem

Peer pressure, noted Carlson, is another problem for teens. The solution? Building self-esteem, a process he admitted isn't easy.

"That is an incremental process, and you do that by putting your attention on the aspects of life that are separate from the accomplishments and the rushing around and all of that," he said. "You put it on the compassion and being a better listener and learning to walk away from conflict, and all of the hundreds of other good ideas that you can spend your time reflecting on. ... (Y)our self-esteem builds as you build that reservoir of inner strength, then these same things, like peer pressure, don't have as much appeal to you."

Spirituality, he added, makes a difference. "(Spiritual teens) have a sense of a higher power, something greater than themselves. They are also oftentimes exposed to bigger issues. ... And the more you are exposed to things that are truly serious, the more compassion you develop for that. ... (T)here is a direct link between kids who are spiritual and their level of contentment and happiness."

Now that Carlson has written for a general audience, teens, and couples ("Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love") -- not to mention compiling a number of branded "treasuries" -- next on the agenda is men. "We men have a way of getting a little too uptight at times also," he said.

But it's never too late, or too early, to be happy -- a message Carlson wants everybody to listen to. "There is a big payoff to learning to be happier," said Carlson. "You handle your parents better, you handle your peer pressure, you handle life in general with a lot more equanimity, and it just gets to be a lot more fun."

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