Huh?

Listen to
your co-workers

With Ann Humphries, ETICON

(CNN) -- We hear it all the time. But we don't listen.

"Listen," they tell us. "We're all bad listeners in business," they tell us. "You're not listening to your employees well enough," they tell us. "You're not listening to what your boss really needs," they tell us.

In one ear and out the other.

CNN: So having heard an earful about all this listening stuff, we decided to give a holler to ETICON president Ann Humphries and see if she could make sense of what they're talking about.

QUICK VOTE
	How good a listener are you? (Did you hear Ann Humphries point out that most of us think we listen well?) I noted Ann's caution, but I honestly think I'm a pretty good listener. I've had compliments about it. And I listened to them. I'm not sure. Sometimes I think I'm good at it. Other times, I realize my mind was miles away from an exchange with somebody. Say what? View Results

Ann Humphries: Listening is something everybody thinks they're good at. But before we get to the points of actually being a good listener, let's consider a few things the speaker may not be doing right.

Sometimes, for example, we assume the people hearing us don't know anything. I've read a commentator saying that the new "Jazz" series from Ken Burns tends to dwell on points or repeat them too much. That can irritate a listener -- "OK, we got that part, move on."

And we tend to forget that it's incumbent on a speaker to compel people to listen. Don't let them read the newspaper in your meeting or pass notes as you go over points. Be strong enough that they listen.

All that being said, let's switch to the listener.

Be careful not to dismiss people because they don't look credible in some way to you. You still need to listen. After all, in music, some lyrics -- even though they may be off-putting -- have a message.

Your goal is to zero in on what people are saying. Try to find the core point.

I've never felt that every idea I presented would be adopted. But what's bothersome is being dismissed quickly or not being allowed to bring something up. That's not OK. Neither is being dismissed with, "We tried that already." Maybe you haven't tried it this year with these people.

In management, ask yourself what your employees are telling you. See if you can say you've listened and really heard them.

Multitasking gets in the way. Stop everything else. Decide if you're in an appropriate time to listen, then stop doing anything else. Set the phone for voice mail. Then pay attention.

If you're taking a call, then take the call. Don't keep doing everything else. Think how it feels when you call, say, a doctor's office and you can hear other things going on, you get the sense they're doing something else. You know how that feels. Don't do it to others.

Many people complain about colleagues who take calls during meetings. Well, if a guest has just dropped in to just kick around some ideas, go ahead and take your calls. Just say, "I'm expecting this call, would you excuse me for a moment?" But if you have a scheduled appointment, don't take phone calls. Stop fielding them. Listen to your guest in the room with you.

DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?
	We want to listen to you. Many of our best ideas for Corporate Class are things we hear -- from our readers. Have a workplace issue you'd like to see addressed? Not sure what to do about a situation you see coming in your career? Let us know and we'll consider taking it on here in the column. Just use our handy submission form to talk to us -- and put a bug in our ears about what's on your mind. We'll be happy to listen.

I'm reminded of the person whose conversation with a colleague was being so badly interrupted by calls that she wrote "I can see this isn't a good time for you" on a piece of paper. Every time the phone rang, she'd fold the paper into a smaller size. Finally she left -- and left the little paper for her co-worker to unfold and read.

But it goes both ways: It's always good to ask, "Is this a good time to talk?" And the other person may have to say, "I want to continue this conversation but I can't do it right now."

If there's someone in your work group who always interrupts in meetings, you don't have to leave it to the boss to handle. You can always say, "OK, Ann," when somebody has started interrupting or talking over people.

And for yourself, try being silent and still. Not the cocktail bird dipping into the drink on the bar, but still. Silent. No tapping, no trying to please, no nodding. Just sit still and listen.

This can be very useful in customer service. The interaction with customers not only lets them talk to the company but also gives you a chance to find out what's on their mind. You -- and your company -- need that input. Listen to it.

When your company decides to do corporate surveys to see what's on clients' minds, take the information seriously. Too many don't do anything with that data. This is a form of corporate not-listening.

We're an action-oriented culture. That makes it harder to listen. For us, focusing is hard. Being still is hard. But one of the highest compliments you can be paid is to be told you're a good listener.

It means to eliminate distractions. You turn to the person talking. You look at the speaker.

Value the opinions of others and let them know you do that by listening. People know when you honor them by the way you're listening. Think of helping them by getting them concentrated. Help them channel their key points to you. How can those points help you? -- you won't know if you don't listen.

-- Interview, Porter Anderson

Ann Humphries, founder and president of ETICON, Inc. and a Certified Professional Consultant to Management, includes several Fortune 500 companies among her clients. She's been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Fortune and Money, and on CNN, CBS and Lifetime TV. You can contact her at www.eticon.com.

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ETICON

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