Unhand me

Several scenes of selfhood:
You are your own PR

March 9, 2001
Web posted at: 10:15 a.m. EST (1515 GMT)

With Ann Humphries, ETICON

(CNN) -- You've gotten "that handshake" before, haven't you?

Unless you're something of a worm, yourself, you probably didn't care for it. But making a good, solid impression on people in your career hardly stops with your handshake.

CNN: When we asked ETICON president and etiquette specialist Ann Humphries about what you do to present yourself to best advantage in the workplace, she presented us with a list. That Ann. Always ready with the good stuff.

QUICK VOTE
	Which situation or expected behavior is the hardest for you to pull off in your career life? Saying a few words to a group at a meeting. Introducing two colleagues to each other smoothly. Handling a glowing introduction without being embarrassed. Getting the strength of your handshake just right. Comfortably making eye contact. Engaging in cordial small talk. using the names of clerks and new acquaintances effectively. View Results

Ann Humphries: You present yourself at the airport, at the hotel counter, at a luncheon registration table. You present yourself on the elevator, to a receptionist, at the community club bleachers.

Granted, there are times when you want to be anonymous -- and we won't list those.

But for the most part, you need to be aware that, whether you like it or not, you're "on camera" all the time. Be aware of what you need to control. This involves connecting as individuals -- right down to when you're checking out at a grocery store, buying a movie ticket, registering a doctor's office. We've all seen people ranting and raving in the checkout line. We saw this at a restaurant the other night -- the proprietor was screaming at his employees so much that it was disturbing.

Far from anything at that level, you need to have a sense for how subtle the signals you send can be.

Here are some components for good presentation.

•   Rehearse doing introductions until you don't sound rehearsed. Get that good at it. You don't want to be bumbling around or overbearing. Have a repertoire of introductions. You have to anticipate what's coming. If you just wing it -- that American-culture thing we do -- you can damage things. So plan how you'll meet people. What a concept, huh?

•   You're at a business function -- maybe an awards lunch -- you know you're going to be recognized. So push your chair back. Get ready. They call out Margaret Jones from Columbia. All you can see is this hand waving. Not good enough. You have to get up.

And when you do, you don't just pop up then fall right back -- don't be a banana-peel person. Be ready to stand up. Stop chewing. Spinach off teeth. On the other hand, don't be like those people you often seen up on a podium, smoothing their hair, hiking up their britches. It's too late at that point.

Be aware, when in front of group in such a situation, of how you're sitting. And are you going to have to go up onto the podium from the audience area? Then go in early and walk the room, just like performers do at awards ceremonies. Professionals know to do this. This is how we make our living. You're in public representing your organization, so don't ruin it with a splat.

•   Now, let's say you get up to the microphone. You make sure the mic is at your lips, not your throat. Make sure it works before you speak. Say your name so people can really get it. "Ann -- Humphries." Not "Annhumphries."

Think about what you're going to do when you introduce yourself -- and this is hard. Try to remember when introducing yourself to people that you want them to get what you can do for them. "I can help you with your drapes" is better than "I sell drapes." "I'm a dentist located over on BooBoo Lane and one of the newest things we have is ..." Or "I'm an eye doctor and I'm working with the laser surgery you might have heard is so good."

•   You're checking into a hotel. Ask for the room with the king-size bed and the view. Use the clerk's name. You should have your name used back to you by that clerk, too. The name is used both to give and get good service.

•   You're on a committee of eight people. It's time to go around the table, everybody's to do a little self-introduction. I saw a very attractive woman recently who, in a circumstance like this, would lean back in her chair, smacking her gum and telling you who she was. And you could just feel the others in the room thinking "Delete." That's a shame. She undersold herself.

WE HAND IT TO YOU
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•   When you meet people in that or another context, make and hold eye contact. Hold it just long enough to get the name. It has to be genuine.

•   And your approach cannot be, "You need to know who I am." The grandest people are the ones who always make you feel you're more important than they are.

•   And now the handshake. We all think we know how to do it. And there's a wonderful variety of handshakes out there for various settings. But the generic, business handshake is what you want.

The old rule was that the man waited for the woman to extend her hand. But in business that doesn't cut it. Women need to remember that some men will hold back, so the women should get their hands out. And some women will complain that they don't get as firm a handshake as men do.

Your handshake should never be a bone-crusher. But don't just lay your hand in theirs, either. What you want is something right in the middle. If you do get a bone-crusher, squeeze back really firmly.

The approach: Keep your hand wide open before you shake. Usually you do two shakes. If you're caught in a multi-pump shake, squeeze hard to let go.

Whether you're meeting someone for the first time or introducing others or fielding questions from a podium or being called on to say a few words, the point is that you're always onstage. It's a small world. Always think of your reputation.

Ann Humphries and ETICON have a special health care seminar planned, "Through the Patients' Eyes: Creating a Culture of Service for Health Care Providers." It's set for March 28 in Columbia, South Carolina, and sponsored by Palmetto Health Alliance/Physician Services in Palmetto Baptist Auditorium. Two sessions will be offered, one from 8:30 a.m. to noon and the second from 1 p.m. to 4:30. Tuition is $59 per person. Topics to be covered: what rudeness costs health care; how to manage all the impressions you make; "a way with words;" and "one moment, please" telephone skills. For registration information, call Linda Silver at 803-296-5769.

Ann Humphries, founder and president of ETICON, Inc. and a Certified Professional Consultant to Management, includes several Fortune 500 companies among her clients. She's been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Fortune and Money, and on CNN, CBS and Lifetime TV. You can contact her at www.eticon.com.

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Listen to your co-workers
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Surviving the sickouts, and managing your cold
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Write your thank-you notes
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Working your way into the real millennium: Out with the old
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Charitable solicitations at work: 'I gave at the office' -- and gave and gave
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Gift exchanges in the workplace: The business of gifts
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What not to do at the business party: Survive it with your career intact
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What to do at the business party: Working the room
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How to handle the business RSVP
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Who are you covering for today? Playing hooky
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Cellular phones in the workplace: We've got your number
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ETICON

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