End it before the fat lady sings

A drama-free workplace: Keep your cool

With Ann Humphries, ETICON

(CNN) -- You might as well dim the lights, and put a spot on 'em. What was it? Something at the meeting about how the client wants the presentation two days early?

Now she's over there by the water cooler doing her best mad scene from "Lucia di Lammamoor" for everybody, Il dolce suono. Or he's down the hall tearing a passion to tatters, your own little Dark Dane.

O, that this too too solid flesh would melt
Thaw, and resolve itself into a dew!

Of course, in the time it's taken them to deliver themselves of these performances, they could have finished the presentation in question and gotten on to something else.

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But they'd rather get everybody all stirred up -- the copy editors are tearing their hair now, the graphics people can't keep lunch down, the receptionist has put the entire switchboard on hold while she tries to regain her composure.

CNN: We've all got a few -- the drama kings and queens of the work force. Everything with them is a superlative -- usually the worst, not the best, too. We're all going to die. The company's future is numbered in minutes. Life as we've known it is over. Prepare to meet your payroll master. They'd be great in "Fiddler on the You-Know-What." But in your company, they're a disaster. So after we'd finished Act I, scene 2, we put it to etiquette specialist and ETICON president Ann Humphries: WHAT ON EARTH can we DO about these ALARMISTS, Ann?

Ann Humphries: The problem is over-reaction.

And it's not limited to negatives. You might have met people who overreact to compliments, too. "Did you really think it was good?"

•  Such things usually are triggered by small, inconsequential issues. "He breathed on me." Come on, get a life, people shouldn't be overly sensitive.

And some things are inadvertent. Don't assume someone has deliberately slighted you. Say, "Hey, I'll take that with me," as you walk out the door toward a break-room trash can. This way, you've snagged that smelly lunch that BooBoo was about to put into the office trash can, but you haven't made a stink, yourself.

•  Don't dwell on small things. Frankly, I've really appreciated it when people haven't over-reacted to my bad moments. And we all have them.

•  Now, there are times when you must respond. Let's say there's an ethical infraction in play. Move quietly, move quickly, move decisively -- because the drama royalty will counter-attack, even before the person who's alleged to have made an infraction can respond: Call the media, float info through the organization, rally discontent, lead it all to a mob scene.

•  You see a lot of overreaction to criticism, too. When we're tired, overworked, maybe don't like the person criticizing us -- that's when to take these factors into consideration.

•  Take feedback regularly. Smart people know to look for it, they want a steady stream of perspective. Keep people around who can tell you when you're wrong, and be ready to receive that information without overreaction.

•  There's such a thing as overly dramatic leadership, too. I was in a volunteer position once and so much was asked of the staff by the company -- we were driven so hard -- that this, in itself, was drama. You have to protect yourself and your people from this kind of thing, top-down drama.

ACT IT OUT FOR US
	Whether it's a period piece (Dickens had a lot to say about working conditions) or something contemporary (you want a cameo appearance on "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit?"). Have your people tell our people what you think is a good topic for a Corporate Class column. We'll be glad to have your input and will take it without undue emotion.

•  Not just in company issues but in personal co-worker issues, too, keep some perspective. A diagnosis of cancer doesn't mean someone's necessarily going to die. Loss of some eyesight may not mean complete blindness. Life goes on. You still have to do laundry and pick up dry cleaning.

•  Beware laying your drama on clients or customers, too. Recently we had a waitress come to our table and told us, "We've just been slammed all day, I'm so tired I can hardly walk." Well, that's not our problem. Don't use that kind of thing as a crutch. You don't throw your and your company's problems into your customers' faces.

Finally, under-reaction can be a form of inappropriate drama, too. Be careful of falling into the managerial mode of dismissing new ideas out of hand rather than honestly considering them, at least for a short time.

And leave the big scenes to the community theater. All the world may be a stage, but you don't have to do your acting at work.

Ann Humphries, founder and president of ETICON, Inc. and a Certified Professional Consultant to Management, includes several Fortune 500 companies among her clients. She's been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Fortune and Money, and on CNN, CBS and Lifetime TV. You can contact her at www.eticon.com.

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ETICON

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