Career conversation: 'Well, shut my mouth'

With Ann Humphries, ETICON

Second installment in a two-part series. Last week: The right way to handle business conversations. This week: Some ways not to put your best foot ... into your mouth.

(CNN) -- When we finished up last week's Corporate Class column, Ann Humphries was advising us on some good moves to make -- rapport-wise -- in a business setting, particularly a convention.

CNN: But what, we asked her, are some real blunders to look out for?

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	How good are you at business conversation? I could carry on a great talk with a doorknob. And many doorknobs attend conventions. I'm good sometimes but it's mostly luck -- don't feel sure of myself. Uniformly terrible. I freeze, I stammer. Hello, my name is ...? View Results

Ann Humphries: Getting too loud, for starters.

You want to make sure we hang onto the context here. A situation like a convention may feel social but it's still business. Remembering where you are and what that context is will help.

And here are some specific points.

•  Some people just have to have the last word. You want to tell them to shut up. They have to have not only the last word but also the cleverest line, the funniest joke and the most exhilarating story. Don't be this person.

•  Another type you'll run into is the person who can never let a subject go. Over and over and over he brings it up, rehashes it, talks it to death. I'm thinking of one person in particular who has an excellent point but just beats it to death. Remember you can always say, "You get one more comment on this, and then we're moving to the next subject."

•  Don't cut people off. Sometimes you do this unintentionally. And, in fact, some regional influences in speech patterns can make this happen. Try to be aware of this if it's your tendency -- and be patient when someone cuts you off: It might be accidental.

•  Don't be overly opinionated. Don't pontificate.

•  Don't carry on about some unpleasantness -- "I have a hair in my food, this is so gross, can you believe it?" Don't start talking about your sinus trouble during dinner. I'm always reminded of the time I asked someone how she and her husband had enjoyed Thanksgiving and she answered, "Well, we both had diarrhea the whole time." Not what you want to hear.

•  Of course, don't talk with your mouth full at the table. Include everyone in your conversation at the table. And don't function like the proverbial bad date: "Enough about me. Now you talk about me."

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•  Silences and pauses are not to be feared. If someone is trying to formulate what she or he is saying, don't jump in and take over. But if things have come to a lull, that's when to get things going. If you can do it by speaking across the table, you'll include more of the group.

•  If your spouse is along on this business event, make sure you've spoken beforehand. Perhaps your spouse will at some point want to gather the other spouses -- "I know you're going to want to talk a little business."

•  If you're table-hopping, don't stay at one table too long, that's a guaranteed conversation killer.

And last but not least, always be ready for a little criticism, you never know when it might come your way. Be braced to take it in stride and remain pleasant.

And never bash your competition. The only one who looks bad when you do that -- is you.

Next week: What do do when co-workers ask favors.

South Carolina Gov. Jim Hodges has named Ann Humphries, founder and president of ETICON Inc., one of seven South Carolina Women of Achievement. Humphries, who's based in Columbia, is a Certified Professional Consultant to Management. Her clients have included several Fortune 500 companies. She's been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Fortune and Money, and on CNN, CBS and Lifetime TV. You can contact her at www.eticon.com.