Love, American style: Convention the rule

February 14, 2001
Web posted at: 11:55 a.m. EST (1655 GMT)

From Elizabeth Cohen
CNN Medical Correspondent

(CNN) -- Do our love lives bear any resemblance whatsoever to what we see on television? Researchers give a resounding "no."

"One doesn't turn to television sitcoms to find out what the facts are about American sex lives," said Robert Michael, a researcher at the University of Chicago. "That's fantasy. It may be enjoyable, but it isn't accurate."

What's accurate, experts say, is monogamy.

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"There is a small fraction of the American population that has very many sex partners," Michael explained, "but the vast majority of Americans have very few partners. Within the last year, 75 percent or so report having had only one sex partner."

Michael and his colleagues run one of the most exhaustive surveys on sexual practices in the United States. Their findings are being released this month in a book called "Sex, Love and Health in America."

"The overarching finding in this study was the conventional nature of the sexual relations in the United States," Michael said. "Most folks don't have that many partners, don't have sex all that often, don't engage in a wide variety of sexual practices, yet they're quite pleased with their sex lives."

The researchers surveyed 3,500 men and women and found that while attitudes about sex vary widely, there are some trends. Among them: Americans are not only monogamous, but happily so.

"Those that are married with one partner and have just that one partner express the highest rates of both physical pleasure and emotional satisfaction," Michael said.

On average, Americans have sexual intercourse 6.4 times a month, the researchers found.

And when it comes to choosing a partner, Americans tend to pair with people of similar religions, ethnic backgrounds, approximate age and socioeconomic status -- even for a one-night stand.

For most Americans, sex and love go hand in hand.

Said Michael, "We asked people why they had sex, what the sex meant to them, and a very large fraction of them indicated one of the reasons they have sex is to express love and affection for that partner. Ninety-five percent of men and women say they have sex to express love."

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American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists

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