Review: Bye-bye, 'Joe Somebody'

By Paul Clinton
CNN Reviewer

(CNN) -- "Joe Somebody," starring Tim Allen and directed by John Pasquin -- who brought us Allen's 1994 hit "The Santa Clause" -- is a made-for-TV movie dressed up like a feature film. Its plot is not only stale, it's been stale for decades.

The lonely nerd who gets a makeover, then gains new confidence in himself, resulting in acceptance from his peers… then, through a series of contrived plot devices, he's faced with a moral dilemma and must risk losing that newfound acceptance in order to be true to his real self, and thereby "do the right thing" -- sound familiar? It should: it's been done ad nauseum.

Allen plays said nerd, Joe Scheffer. He's the Rodney Dangerfield of the pharmaceutical company he works for in the all-American city of Minneapolis, Minnesota. He gets no respect, kicked around by his ex-wife, his boss and his co-workers. The only living human being who understands him is his pre-teen daughter, Natalie (Hayden Panettiere, last seen in "Remember the Titans").

After being beaten up over a space in the company parking lot -- in front of his co-workers and his daughter -- Joe has finally had it with being the fall guy. He goes to a self-defense expert, played by Jim Belushi, in hopes of learning how to kick butt and take names. He then challenges his parking lot nemesis, played by Patrick Warburton, to a fight in front of the whole company.

Suddenly he goes from Joe nobody to Joe Somebody! Everyone hates the company bully, and can't wait for Joe to bring him down a notch or two. As the big day approaches, Joe is the life of the party. The only ones not impressed are his daughter and his beautiful co-worker Meg (Julie Brown, from the NBC series "Ed"). Joe pays no attention; he's too busy testing different hair gels and shirt and tie combinations, and practicing kung fu. As the showdown draws near, of course, Joe must come to terms with doing what is right, not necessarily what is popular.

As usual, Allen is adept at physical comedy and double takes. Belushi is his perfect foil; Brown is pretty and charming; Panettiere is sweet as the earnest daughter. But the paper-thin plot from first-time screenwriter John Scott Shepherd is completely predictable and lacks any kind of dramatic tension, as we go from one pratfall to the next in search of the inevitable outcome disguised as an ending. "Joe Somebody" would have an identity crisis no matter when it was released. But coming out at this time of year -- with all the huge Oscar contenders -- is sheer folly. Bye-bye, Joe.

"Joe Somebody" opens nationwide on Friday, December 21 and is rated PG.