Excerpts from Mother Teresa's letters to her spiritual advisers

"People say they are drawn close to God -- seeing my strong faith. Is this not deceiving people? Every time I have wanted to tell the truth -- that I have no faith the words just do not come -- my mouth remains closed. And yet I still keep on smiling at God and all."

"I am told God lives in me -- and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul."

"I want God with all power of my soul -- and yet between us there is terrible separation. I don't pray any longer. "

"In my soul, I can't tell you how dark it is, how painful, how terrible -- I feel like refusing God."

"Pray for me, Father. Inside of me there is so much of suffering -- Pray for me that I may not refuse God in this hour -- I don't want to do it but I am afraid I may do it. Pray for me."

"Where I try to raise my thoughts to heaven, there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul. Love -- the word -- it brings nothing."

Source: The "Journal of Theological Reflection"