Review: 'L.A. Dead' a deathly dumb excuse for a crime novel

"L.A. Dead"
By Stuart Woods
Putnam
Fiction
352 pages

In this story: Various intrigues Not fully developed RELATED STORIES, SITES

By L.D. Meagher
Special to CNN Interactive

(CNN) -- Perhaps it's appropriate that a novel set in Hollywood should seem somewhat filmy. Not filmy in the sense that that it's about movie folks (which it is) or that it's constructed in such a way that adapting it into a movie should be relatively painless (which it also is). "L.A. Dead" by Stuart Woods is filmy in the sense that it's about as deep as a strip of celluloid and its characters flicker past like shadows on a silver screen.

It's the story of Stone Barrington, a New York cop-turned-lawyer. This is the sixth novel in the Barrington series, and it begins with the protagonist bound for the altar. He's marrying the daughter of a powerful Mafioso, much to the chagrin of his long-time friend Dino -- a cop -- and Dino's wife -- the bride-to-be's sister. They're all off to Venice (Italy, not California) for the nuptials. But before the ceremony is finished, Barrington is summoned to Los Angeles. By a former fiancee, no less.

The woman in question jilted Barrington years earlier to marry Vance Calder, Hollywood's reigning box office king. Now, he's been murdered and the widow, Arrington, is the chief suspect. At the urging of his prospective father-in-law and with the reluctant acquiescence of his intended, Barrington is on the next plane to L.A.

An old buddy on the LAPD lays the bleak facts before him. The victim was shot to death in his own home. The only other people in the house at the time were two servants and Arrington Calder. The servants didn't see the shooting. And the widow is suffering from amnesia.

The plot and characters in "L.A. Dead" aren't developed fully in Stuart Woods' latest

Barrington is ostensibly representing his old flame. In fact, he ends up taking over her life as she recovers from the shock of her husband's death. Thus, he's drawn into the various intrigues that abound in the film colony. He's drawn just as deeply into the sexual whirlwind that is stereotypical of show business.

"Why," he muses at one point, "were women always walking around naked in front of him when he was trying to be good?"

Trying, perhaps, but not succeeding. Even the sudden arrival of Barrington's bride-to-be doesn't dampen his re-kindling romance with the widow Calder, who now repents her decision not to become Mrs. Arrington Barrington. Of course, there's the small impediment of a murder charge lodged against her. Barrington spends his spare time trying to marshal the evidence that will prove Arrington innocent.

"L.A. Dead" tries to be an amalgam of a police procedural and a courtroom drama. But neither element is fully developed. For that matter, neither is the central plot -- the mystery surrounding the death of Vance Calder. The story has more loose ends than Sunset Boulevard has palm trees.

Barrington is more of a caricature than a character. He's brilliant, fearless and loyal, not to mention tall and handsome. He's the most fully realized character in the book. The men he meets in Los Angeles are all self-serving sharks and the women are bundles of self-absorbed libido.

"L.A. Dead" is a quick read. Woods writes in a brisk unadorned style that's easily absorbed by eyes without making much of an impression on the brain. The novel is the sort of inconsequential entertainment that fuels the sale of paperbacks. And it's tailor-made to be turned into a "major motion picture."

Author of 'Swimming to Catalina' talks trade
May 5, 1998

Putnam

Note: Pages will open in a new browser window

External sites are not endorsed by CNN Interactive.