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Baby, it's not for me
By Leslie King
(CNN) -- OK, so I'm 32 years old. I know that this is probably primo baby hatchin' time, but I swear there are moments where I feel like Sigourney Weaver in "Aliens" when she's standing among the pods watching them all hatch around her. Does it all have to happen at once? In the last year, at least six of my friends, including my sister, have had babies. Phrases that were once alien to me, such as breast pump and Boppy pillow, have become a regular part of the conversation when the girls are hangin' out. Hey, when "Sex and the City" gets into the act, you know you're in trouble. Aunts just want to have funI've managed to buy myself some time. My sister had her baby (for the record, the cutest ever) seven months ago, and this is the best of all possible solutions. I get to have all the fun and none of the hassle. If they could patent that, I'm in. Having seen the first three months firsthand, I think I'm going to need a rubber room when it's my turn. Accessories for the baby boomThe part I was totally unprepared for -- but should come as no surprise in super-size America -- is the unbelievable industry that supports this reproductive effort. Ever been to a Babies 'R' Us? If you haven't, I can only equate it to a SuperTarget experience. You go in there looking for one thing, and you end up losing your mind. Some of the stuff is so cool ... such as Fisher-Price's "Ocean Wonders Aquarium," which is a play aquarium and music maker that attaches to a crib. I wanted one myself. Or how about the mirror that attaches to your car's rearview mirror to check out what the little critter's up to in the back seat? Imagine how many back-of-the-car squabbles your mom would have busted up if she really had eyes in the back of her head. No escaping the "wrath of mom" with that little feature. But until I start seeing some serious benefits to being fat and staying up all night, I'm content to become the accessory expert. That way I'll have something to talk about at the baby showers where I'm the only one not in some stage of incubation.
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