If Allen Barra were the king of baseball ...

(CNN) -- When first asked the hypothetical question, "What would he do if he were king of baseball?" Allen Barra is reluctant to wear the crown.

"First, I'd stop the illusion" that there is such a thing, he says. Commissioners -- the closest thing baseball has to a king -- are hired and fired at the whim of the owners.

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But soon he warms to the task. Here's a little of what he said:

And he'd give permanent passes to Salma Hayek and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

When reminded that he's a married man with children, Barra barely pauses. "OK, so I'd give permanent passes to my whole family [as well]."